Interiors Playboy

In 1978 my grandfather sat me down on his knee and said to me: ‘Joe, if you want to get good sex, you must first  look inside’. At first, I thought he was referring to in innate self-confidence and a prerequisite for personal contentment before approaching women, but throughout the course of the conversation it transpired that he was referring in fact to something quite different: my apartment.

Every discerning gentleman recognizes the importance that one’s interior style plays upon their social life. Whenever a guest is welcomed they immediately form an opinion of a person based upon the place in which they live.  Drab wallpaper or tatty duvet = you’re not getting laid tonight. Photos of the time you donated £1 million to the Panda Sanctuary and saved that child from the burning building = home run. It really is that simple.

And so it is for this reason that I am posting this blog. Think of it as my bit for charity, if you will  - a chance to offer men my thoughts, ideas and expressions as to how they can style their home to increase their social prowess.

You may ask: does the way my apartment looks really affect my success with women? My answer: yes. Or, to cite a slightly ironic metaphor, you need to get your house in order….to get your house in order.

Creating a successful bachelor pad takes time, but bear with me. Over the course of the next few months we will get there.

The first step – and the topic for this blog – is to strip.

I’m not talking about clothes for a moment, but junk. Those things in your apartment that you don’t need and just clutter the place. Bin them, or better still, sell them on ebay and use the money you earn to take Sandra from the coffee shop for dinner. It doesn’t matter which. But you must start now.

When visitors come to your apartment you need to present an image of minimalistic control. You’re a modern man and you manage your life. And your flat is an extension of this. So unnecessary items scattered throughout the place do nothing but detract from the main showcase (that’s you by the way) and all the pleasantries you have to offer. Here is my list of things to get rid of or hide:

• Bins
• Clocks
• Shoes/trainers
• DVDs
• Ex-girlfriends
• Rugs

Clocks are an interesting one. Having a clock in a room can highlight to visitors how long they have spent there and make people feel as if they’re static and bored. So remove them. Times flies when you’re having fun – and this will give the impression that time is flying.

Use whatever storage you have to hide or disguise clutter. You want to start with an apartment that is as close to a basic shell as possible.

Next week, we’ll start discussing colours and how using an appropriate shade of green can bring success.

Until next time…

I.P.08.