annad

I have now attempted to erect two marquees in a period of only 2 months. From none to two, it’s been a disturbing and character-building experience. I am genuinely curious – is it just me and all those around me who struggle so traumatically with this particular piece of engineering?

On marquee one, my poor boyfriend was faced with a ‘prove your manhood’ test with my whole family. The five of us spent a 3 hours in the pelting rain and wind, with a marquee that, it soon transpired, was missing half its pieces. Boyfriend passed with flying colours, but not before tearing his T shirt, landing in the mud and biting his tongue a dozen times as brother and father competed in the test for alpha-malehood.

Marquee two was constructed last weekend. This time it was me and my flatmates – three 20-something males, and the phrase ‘too many chiefs’ kept popping into my head… We put it up and pulled it down 3 heart-wrenching times before unravelling the complex (and hopelessly inept) number and colour-coding system.

To all those wannabe party hosts, a heartfelt warning to consider very, very carefully before deciding a little marquee would make a nice addition to the backyard party… Marquee construction requires the engineering of a Boeing designer, the patience of a saint and the diplomatic skills of a UN secretary general. If I were you, I’d escape the whole process and offer to make some tea at the end.